Partner...

Why have gay people added yet another self defining term to the list. PARTNER is the new word. So now we don't have husbands, wives, girlfriends, or boyfriends we have "partners".

I HATE IT.

I don't wanna call T my dayum parnter, but I keep feeling the pressure to do so. Cause it's the latest craze.

It's like, let's make up this word that will show that we're serious about our relationships. Boooooooooooooooooooo!

She's my girlfriend and when we get married she'll be my wife. Why she gotta be my partner?

I was talkin to this lady and she was trying to say the right terminology and she asked me what it was. I told her...Sht I don't know, I can't keep up.

"Nice to meet you so and so...oh, this is my partner"...That sht don't even sound right to me!

Oh well, I haven't decided on what Imma do yet...for now I've stuck to "girlfriend" and that's working well.

Maybe if I can get the word partner out one time, I'll be able to adapt it into my vocabulary...

Ovarian...

It's crazy. Recent events have provided distance between myself and others. And the same is occuring for T. At this point in time the biggest dissapointments have been from women. Black women. Which adds a little more sting than usual. This fake bond that I want women in general to have is obviously stupid and highly unrealistic.

As I blogged about before, people just aren't happy for others. I guess the happiness you have for others stems from the happiness you have for yourself. I'll just speak on Black women because they are the sole subject of these feelings I have.

I just aint feelin'em. Thee other day I was tellin T that, a test of a true friendship isn't so much when you're down and going through something, it's when things are going good for you that you see the realness of a relationship. Because only a real friend can be happy for you when you meet and even better surpass them in certain facets of life.

Now I see why older women seldom have female friends. Pardon my French, but btches are haters. They show their disdain for you in many ways and it often varies per person. They may be rude, evasive, demeaning or distant. None-the-less, I've seen these qualities in various females this week and it is humorous at best. I take that back it's sad.

People seem to be all ears for tragedy and lackluster in regards to happiness. That truely saddens me. Really. I guess the reason I feel compelled to Blog about this is because I've seen it from a multitude of women in a week's timeframe.

From my recent experiences, I aint feelin Black women right now, they crabs in a bucket to me...

Happy...

I decided to call this "Happy" instead of the all to overused "Gay".
As I watched "Workout" last night, I was saddened. Saddened as Jackie recalled her high school gayness and as they showed her interaction with her mother about her gayness. (FYI...Lol@ "gayness"...but you know what I mean)

Sure people feel free to through slurs, ask DUMB questions, force their adaptation of religion down your throat, but I don't think that they quite understand that painful effect that it has on someone's life.

People kinda look at you like an anomaly, a freak of nature. And all I see myself as as is ME. I don't know why people feel so comfortable targeting gay people. It's like it's open season. Why do people feel the need to go out of their way to make gay people uncomfortable.

In the beginning I said that if I could do it again, I would live in secrecy the rest of my life, just to avoid the struggle. But the times I did utilize the "don't ask don't tell" philosopy I felt ashamed and miserable. I couldn't live my life like that. I'd rather face the odds. Now I speak proudly, when I choose to speak at all.

People laugh and snicker and whose the boy and whose the girl and how strickly dickly they are, not realizing that none of that stuff matters. People still surface dwelling. And I think that's fcking corny.

People, inclusive of myself, have endured so much pain and suffering for being who they are. People don't realize how it feels to have the government deny you rights, to have people stare at you when you walk down the street, to have people not want to be your friend or your family anymore, to have people distant themselves from you, and to be out right discriminated against.

Sigh...I can go on and on and spin this a million different ways, but I'll save that for other blogs, lol.

I just wish that before people hear the word lesbian or gay and think of entertainment, to realize that there are people behind those words, people who wish to live their lives, just like everyone else.