Foggy Morning...

This morning as the train plowed thru the fog, I began chatting with a former grad student from my schoool. He made mention of finishing his PhD and asked about my thesis. Of course I cringe anytime anyone asks about my thesis, becuase it's just been a haunting force in my life lately. I finished my coursework a year and a half ago and have yet to complete my thesis. Why? Because I was burned out.

By the time I reached the end of my coursework I was working 40+ hours a week at a job that was suffering from poor manangement, poor ethics and poor morale. And need I say that I HATED my job! My social life was pretty pitiful, being as though, by that time I was interacting with folks for sheer entertainment, not knowing that I was being depleated by my poor choice in company. My friendships were wailing, suffering from miscommunication and mental seperation. My landlord was an attention seeking Cancer that mentally dueled me at any given moment, insulting my sexuality, my commen fucking sense and my at-home peace of mind. So with all of that going on, who the fuck could think about a 100 page document.

Now a year and a half later, the paper still haunts me. I need to graduate. Just for closure sakes.
And then I get an email this morning from an old class mate asking how I was and if I had finished my thesis. NO! Fucking NO, I'm not finished! I think people ask you, knowing damn well you didn't. Either way, I've brought closure to a few old demons this year, so if I can take this one out, I will be proud! Hmmm, proud. I like the way that sounds. I don't think that I've been proud of anything that I've done before. This would make a great start...