Da struggle...

I'm supposed to be working on my Thesis at this very second, but I'm distracted. By what? Life. I'm kinda getting close to stressed out. I'm just tired. Tired of trying to do and take care of EVERYTHING. I feel like I need to split myself in two sometimes to get more done.

Okay, there's work...
I have to put on the fake smiles and interactions so I won't seem like an angry, beat down Black woman, who really just wants to hit the lottery and not work for anyone ever again. But I digress...moving on.

There is the relationship...
Relationships are stressful. You gotta listen to their sht even when you beat down from dealing with yours. You gotta be bothered when you really don't wanna be, etc. Sure it has it's perks, but it is an added responsibility.

There is the fam...
My parents are older, so when I go over to their house it's always do this do that. Guess what happened, yo'momma did this, yo' brother did that. Just too much.

Then there are finances...
As I/we move forward to do this house thing, I realize that I'm a broke azz beotch and will be one for a few minutes if some miracle doesn't happen. I'm like damn, I've been thru the humblin' process, why am I still strugglin'. When is it going to be my time to be able to NOT be stressin' and calculatin' my finances every fckin second!

Finally, there is my Thesis...
I'm not finished yet. Thee end.

Those are my top 5 stressors, things that just have following me around and ridin' my back. In retrospect, I see progress, I've changed, my life has changed, almost everything has changed...for the better. But I still feel beaten. I still feel like I'm chasing a carrot that I'm never gonna get. I just want to breathe easy. When is my break. Don't I deserve one?

When my day comin...huh?

Depressing blog I know, but that's how I feel.