Rigid...

Whoa...

I had a total flash back of my old self. Yesterday after one thing was sprung on me, I fckin freaked out. And it wasn't until I started talking out loud that I realized that I freaked out. It fcked my night up and my morning. And a PMSing girlfriend didn't help, but I was loosing it. So now that I'm back on earth I feel a little better.

And actually when I look back (a ripe 18 hours), I realize that I am stressing about alot more than the bullsht I've been crying over. I guess we all become rigid sometimes. Because being set in our ways and staying true to that becomes all that we have. Shoot. I know me is all I really have. Well I shouldn't say that. But you know what I mean. If I don't take care of me, I can't allow anyone else to, or help anyone else. So I at least have to stay above the surface.

But yeah, I'm aight now. And honestly looking back...I think I had a slow panic attack, lol. Do they exist? Hum. And like I was saying I DO have alot on my mind. I have alot of sht that I'm trying to do. And I have the pressure of wanting to do it right the first time around. A btch tryna make moves. So all that moving gave me motion sickness.

Aight, so maybe this shouldn't have been entitled "Rigid", maybe I should have called it "Slow Panic Attack, cause I got sht goin on in my life"....

*shrug*