Friends...

Why are friends so hard to come by.

I mean, when we were little, friends were the easiest things to get, but as adults it's one of the hardest.

For majority of my lifetime, I've had the same friends, dating back to elementary. Which can be considered good, cause it shows that you have a true bond and you've stood the test of time. BUT little did I know that sht don't mean anything, cause when folks get grown and stressed, sht changes.

So because I've maintained only my childhood friends, when the relationships wore thin, I was/am left alone. And I guess I could throw in my ex-boyfriend who I deemed as a friend, cause that last 10 years. Cause he gone too.

But none-the-less, they're all gone. My only friend now is my girlfriend.

No, let me go visit so and so or we're going shopping or to the mall. Just me.

I've grown accustom to it, but I still feel that it's a little sad.
I parted with these people because of some imbalance that was there between us. I started feeling like they weren't adding anything to my life. But how did they feel about me? Was I a good friend? Was I also lacking?

And now I sample new people out, but I when I start to feel that it's just wasted time and energy, I pull away from them too. I'm weary about who I open up to and I don't share my life with just anyone. So I don't regret me retreating from various folk, cause my lil' intincts be ON POINT and I won't question that.

People really be on some next sht.


Anyway, I'm grateful for the friend that I have. Cause at least I knows that she realy does care about me and my well being. And it's hard to find anyone to do that sht!! And she is crazy as a mutha, but hey so am I.

And of course one of my "ex-friends" would email me as I write this blog...

Life is funny.